| | The last time I really felt close to God was too long ago, and I'd say I miss it. I miss being able to talk to him, to allow him to comfort me and allowing myself to have faith in his plan for me. I honestly haven't sat down and done quiet time properly for months and its been totally embarrassing to admit it somehow since the people around me are all doing it regularly, or at least I think so. Evee's blog is a blessing to me, I read it and I really really realise how much I need God and maybe it'd help you too (:
I've been thinking about what it means to really live for God.
Now
that I've begun really.. having a relationship with Him I wonder why it
takes so much out of me to trust Him and come to Him.
Sometimes I suppose it takes brokenness to know that we need Him to complete us..
It
takes a point where you realize you're trying, and you're trying so
hard but you can't seem to push the stone in front of you. And even
when you ask your friends and your family to help you, and you're all
pushing, it doesn't seem to move. Then you realize you can't rely on
your strength, your knowledge, your years and years of experience; it
takes God.
It takes frustration, it takes humility, it takes exhaustion, before we truly, truly understand why we need God.
It's not about doing it to make Him happy, it's about our realization of our innate need for Him.
I
feel like He's just been standing there the whole time waiting for me
and for us to run into His arms and we're here struggling wondering why
He's left us alone. And that really opens my eyes.
The
world always tells us not to surrender, never give up, don't show
weakness, grit your teeth keep your pride, but with God there's no fear
of exploitation, there's no wariness that He will let us down.
And
it's so easy to point a finger at others isn't it, to point out
stubbornness and hypocrisy but we don't take a look at ourselves and
our brokenness and realize we need God just as much as anyone does.
That need is what will keep us clinging on to Him throughout our lives
because we don't need Him out of convenience, we don't need Him during
our exams or our hard times, we need Him simply because of who we are.
I
think this world trains us to be so unimpressed, that we're always
looking for divine intervention, instant gratification, an experience;
but just seek God. And He'll meet you in His own way.
If He's real and you find it out for yourself, it makes your entire life.
And
if we've found out He's real, why is it that we, why is it that I,
spend so much time thinking about what others think about us, and
spending time trying to achieve things in this world, and think of ways
to impress people but God takes a backseat role. It's so sad.
This
means so much more than I think and treat it. It's so easy to have a
casual relationship with God, one out of convenience, to go to Him when
I need or only after I've tried and failed, but it's in the giving up
control before anything else begins, in the commitment, that I learn to
trust Him. And I learn that He is faithful.
Think about this
word: Choice. God gives it to us. I don't doubt He has the power, in
the swiftest of moves to make me do what He wants me to do. But there's
a freedom He gives me by giving me a choice. There's such a beauty in
it. That God knows what we'll choose, but he lets us choose anyway.
Because what good is it if he forces us. I mean on a person-to-person
level, when you force someone to do something for you it means
absolutely nothing; they've done it out of obligation. So God gives us
a choice. What will you do with it?
Run to Him. |
| | Posted 7/9/2009 9:05 PM - 215 Views - 2 eProps - 1 Comment
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